A lot of people have taken this to arms lately over women being perfect exactly the way they are. I think it's an indicator of how desperate we all are for validation in our habits and also our tendencies to be offended easily and irretrievably. We, as a society, have become like the grasshopper in the old fable who cockily sang, 'The world owes me a living.' And it really doesn't. In the scheme of things, you are a small creature, of less importance than a cockroach to the continuation of the planet's ecosystem. It can exist without us, as evidenced by various natural habitats, and our continual encroachment upon the resources of the planet make us more virus-like than any other creature.
But that is not the topic of discussion today. I noticed when I came home a frightening trend in my younger sisters (of which there are 4) a trend towards the impossible beauty ideal known as 'skinny'. As a pre-teen, I was fascinated and repulsed by this idol and reacted by gaining weight steadily until I weighed upwards of 200 lbs. The only thing that changed me was when I learned a professional wrestler (light-weight division) weighed 2 pounds less than I did. I did not develop an eating disorder because I didn't know what those were. I knew dieting meant depriving yourself of food, but at 15 years old, I didn't have the self-control necessary to deny myself of all food and the idea of forced vomiting never entered into my mind and when it was introduced to me several years later, I felt as repulsed as I do now since vomiting isn't a pleasant experience for me, nor has it ever been. I feel relief at the end, yes, but the ends do not justify the means.
So I took 1/2 of what I'd normally eat of meat and breads, double of what I'd normally get of vegetables, and 1/4 of all desserts. I ran for 2 hours while watching TV; mainly running during commercials and walking as fast as I could during the program. I lost 50 lbs and considered myself a success.
After I came home and noticed the before-mentioned fixation of my siblings, I was determined to change their point of view. I have a naturally slender waist and every time one of my siblings would mention how 'skinny' I was, I'd correct them and say, 'Not skinny, healthy.' I'm trying to implement better eating habits, 'Eating a ton of breaded chicken isn't healthy; try the salad.' or 'Just eating apples isn't healthy, you need to have different vitamins and minerals' along with showing them that I exercise, even while playing video games.
But compared to the vacuum of junk food that is my family, I appear anorexic. My sisters comment on how little I eat and if I overeat (yes, it's possible for thin people to overeat) I am not allowed to comment on it or I'm shot down, viciously, by my overweight sisters who claim there is 'no such thing.' While I'd like to reply, 'Just because the bounds of my stomach don't reach the breadth of yours...' I smile and shake it off.
When I gain weight, it is also laughed at because I am not as bounteous as they. I can't show off my hard work (such as newly developed arm muscle, leg muscle, or developing abs) because it offends my sisters who don't work out, eat right, or really do anything to change their figures besides complaining how fat they are. They all have low self-esteem and my dropping pant size only serves to remind them how 'terrible' they are and how much they need to kill themselves. All their problems turn from a confidence issues into a 'our-older-sister-is-smaller-than-us-so-instead-of-doing-something-about-it-we're-going-to-complain-and-whine-how-it's-all-her-fault' problem. Somehow their neuroses are pinned on me because I want to run a marathon.
I'm sick of it! I want to tell them to change their lives, to change their habits, to tell them how unhealthy they're living. Eating a bag of chips in an hour is not healthy! Complaining because you have to get out of a car to walk inside a store is not healthy! Spending your ever waking moment obsessed with your next meal (when the cupboards are fully stocked) is not healthy! I don't care about losing weight, or fitting into a size 0. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to run without panting after three feet, or jump and play, to do the things I've been afraid to do all my life because the physical state of my family kept me afraid. And yes, it's hard to be the healthy one, to continually attempt to point the others in the right direction and call me 'high and mighty' but when did self-care turn into a crime? When did exercise become offensive? It was probably when the first self-esteem stricken unhealthy person pointed the finger of mockery and scorn at the people in the gyms, when wanting to look your best became a contest and others decided their lack of motivation came from other people looking better than they did. Our problems are our own. How many books and movies have to pass through your mind before you realize abuse in the past isn't anything more than a handicap? People without legs can swim, people who have been in broken relationships have triumphed and there are still people in the world blaming their outsides for their insides not working.
I don't advocate unhealthy habits on any level: if you're obese, you need to get into shape; if you're anorexic (insert name of eating disorder here) you need to eat healthier. Some people are naturally large despite their best efforts. I knew a girl who weighed in at 180 and could run for miles. Every inch of her was muscle, but she hated herself because of the skinny culture; I also know a woman who struggles to keep her weight under 100 despite having birthed 5 children because of the skinny culture. Health comes in all shapes and sizes, but unhealthy does as well.
It's always wonderful when someone notices your hard work to keep yourself in shape. I appreciate the comments of 'Wow, you're so skinny!' because it's a superficial acknowledgement of my achievements. I'd rather they comment on my ability to run a mile, but opportunities like that don't present themselves very often.
I've watched my little brother go from couch potato to semi-active couch potato. He works out; I'm working on the others :)
I'm a fighter for healthy living. I don't believe in making people feel bad for how they look, but I believe in not being afraid to say, "I've worked hard for this," despite what other people will say. I know it's hard to stand strong, but the longer you stand, the more people stand with you.
But that is not the topic of discussion today. I noticed when I came home a frightening trend in my younger sisters (of which there are 4) a trend towards the impossible beauty ideal known as 'skinny'. As a pre-teen, I was fascinated and repulsed by this idol and reacted by gaining weight steadily until I weighed upwards of 200 lbs. The only thing that changed me was when I learned a professional wrestler (light-weight division) weighed 2 pounds less than I did. I did not develop an eating disorder because I didn't know what those were. I knew dieting meant depriving yourself of food, but at 15 years old, I didn't have the self-control necessary to deny myself of all food and the idea of forced vomiting never entered into my mind and when it was introduced to me several years later, I felt as repulsed as I do now since vomiting isn't a pleasant experience for me, nor has it ever been. I feel relief at the end, yes, but the ends do not justify the means.
So I took 1/2 of what I'd normally eat of meat and breads, double of what I'd normally get of vegetables, and 1/4 of all desserts. I ran for 2 hours while watching TV; mainly running during commercials and walking as fast as I could during the program. I lost 50 lbs and considered myself a success.
After I came home and noticed the before-mentioned fixation of my siblings, I was determined to change their point of view. I have a naturally slender waist and every time one of my siblings would mention how 'skinny' I was, I'd correct them and say, 'Not skinny, healthy.' I'm trying to implement better eating habits, 'Eating a ton of breaded chicken isn't healthy; try the salad.' or 'Just eating apples isn't healthy, you need to have different vitamins and minerals' along with showing them that I exercise, even while playing video games.
But compared to the vacuum of junk food that is my family, I appear anorexic. My sisters comment on how little I eat and if I overeat (yes, it's possible for thin people to overeat) I am not allowed to comment on it or I'm shot down, viciously, by my overweight sisters who claim there is 'no such thing.' While I'd like to reply, 'Just because the bounds of my stomach don't reach the breadth of yours...' I smile and shake it off.
When I gain weight, it is also laughed at because I am not as bounteous as they. I can't show off my hard work (such as newly developed arm muscle, leg muscle, or developing abs) because it offends my sisters who don't work out, eat right, or really do anything to change their figures besides complaining how fat they are. They all have low self-esteem and my dropping pant size only serves to remind them how 'terrible' they are and how much they need to kill themselves. All their problems turn from a confidence issues into a 'our-older-sister-is-smaller-than-us-so-instead-of-doing-something-about-it-we're-going-to-complain-and-whine-how-it's-all-her-fault' problem. Somehow their neuroses are pinned on me because I want to run a marathon.
I'm sick of it! I want to tell them to change their lives, to change their habits, to tell them how unhealthy they're living. Eating a bag of chips in an hour is not healthy! Complaining because you have to get out of a car to walk inside a store is not healthy! Spending your ever waking moment obsessed with your next meal (when the cupboards are fully stocked) is not healthy! I don't care about losing weight, or fitting into a size 0. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to run without panting after three feet, or jump and play, to do the things I've been afraid to do all my life because the physical state of my family kept me afraid. And yes, it's hard to be the healthy one, to continually attempt to point the others in the right direction and call me 'high and mighty' but when did self-care turn into a crime? When did exercise become offensive? It was probably when the first self-esteem stricken unhealthy person pointed the finger of mockery and scorn at the people in the gyms, when wanting to look your best became a contest and others decided their lack of motivation came from other people looking better than they did. Our problems are our own. How many books and movies have to pass through your mind before you realize abuse in the past isn't anything more than a handicap? People without legs can swim, people who have been in broken relationships have triumphed and there are still people in the world blaming their outsides for their insides not working.
I don't advocate unhealthy habits on any level: if you're obese, you need to get into shape; if you're anorexic (insert name of eating disorder here) you need to eat healthier. Some people are naturally large despite their best efforts. I knew a girl who weighed in at 180 and could run for miles. Every inch of her was muscle, but she hated herself because of the skinny culture; I also know a woman who struggles to keep her weight under 100 despite having birthed 5 children because of the skinny culture. Health comes in all shapes and sizes, but unhealthy does as well.
It's always wonderful when someone notices your hard work to keep yourself in shape. I appreciate the comments of 'Wow, you're so skinny!' because it's a superficial acknowledgement of my achievements. I'd rather they comment on my ability to run a mile, but opportunities like that don't present themselves very often.
I've watched my little brother go from couch potato to semi-active couch potato. He works out; I'm working on the others :)
I'm a fighter for healthy living. I don't believe in making people feel bad for how they look, but I believe in not being afraid to say, "I've worked hard for this," despite what other people will say. I know it's hard to stand strong, but the longer you stand, the more people stand with you.
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